Parenting When You’re Running on Empty
It seemed to have all happened in a single moment.
A solitary, defining moment, forever frozen in time where everything I thought I knew about my life, who I was, and my marriage unraveled, leaving me gutted and disoriented.
The truth is that that moment had been years in the making.
All too frequently, the events leading to separation and divorce can be both dramatic and traumatic, taking their toll on us over months or years. Even the greatest warriors among us are lost, disoriented, reeling, no longer sure of what was real and who or what can be trusted. We cast doubt on ourselves, our ability to make good decisions, and it can impact even our faith and how we view the role of a higher power in our lives.
For those of us who are parents, the work of grieving, healing, and rebuilding is compounded by the fact that we have children we care for, who are also grieving, in need of healing, and who also have to rebuild their sense of self, and adapt to new environments and circumstances. Everyone within the family unit is reeling or working through things the best way they know how.
The last thing you and your teen or pre-teen need is stress or conflict between the two of you.
Can we agree that you’ve all been through enough already?
Can we also agree that the only choices you can control are your own?
I know many of you are deep in the struggle of co-parenting with your ex-spouse. There may be many things you’d like to change about how they parent or connect with your kids, but the best (and only) thing you can focus on is how you show up, reframe, and rebuild your relationship with them. Focusing on what you can do is the surest and most practical way to help your kids heal, feel secure, and move forward with confidence and a positive sense of self.
You’re likely overwhelmed, running on little sleep, forgetting things, experiencing heightened stress, and you probably have a shorter fuse than you used to right now.
Please know you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. The path you’re on is incredibly challenging, and it can feel quite lonely. The best way forward is to wrap yourself in grace and compassion and get the proper support for yourself and your kids.
During the first year of separation, I decided to embark on the path of getting certified as a family coach. I was so grateful to discover and start implementing the game-changing strategies and practices I share in Getting Real With Teens! I experienced first-hand how these strategies anchored my attention during this very emotional and overwhelming time, allowing me to navigate my grief while staying focused on strengthening my relationship with my son.
The programs and coaching I offer benefit all parent/teen relationships but can be particularly appealing to parents who are already exhausted and overwhelmed.
Specifically, the benefits of the programs and coaching opportunities offered for parents navigating the landscape of separation and divorce include:
- Practical, easy to implement practices that won’t wear you down
- More control over your relationship with your teen
- Reduced stress within your parent/teen relationship
- More respect
- Confidence in your parenting skills. You can move forward knowing you have your finger on the pulse of your teen’s needs and help them thrive through challenging circumstances.
- More peace and better communication between you and your teen will free up mental and emotional bandwidth to tend to the many issues surrounding separation and divorce, including your own healing.
Separation and divorce are challenging enough without being further worn down by the stress of constant struggle and disrespect between you and your teen or pre-teen.
Imagine creating a space where everyone (including you) feels honored, respected, and everyone wants to cooperate and contribute. In this new environment, respect, harmony, and cooperation are the norm. Life has a peaceful, joyful flow, and you can confidently move forward supporting your kids in becoming loving, capable adults who will thrive in all areas of their lives, including relationships.
I hope you’ll take a moment to explore Getting Real With Teens! or consider the benefits of receiving one on one coaching to help move you and your teen forward lovingly and confidently through to the other side of the overwhelm and chaos of separation or divorce.